I don't usually does this but uh........

I want to say that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. But the truth is that I wake up and roll off the same side of the bed every morning. It's just this morning Life was waiting at the front door with his fists up. I'm not sure what got into him but he was clearly pissed and was looking for company this morning. So now I'm pissed. We're both pissed. So what did his aggression solve?
Sometimes it takes a lot not to turn into that guy that shoots up the McDonald's because his Big Mac didn't look like the one in the picture. So today I want to spaze because this life doesn't look like the one I wanted to buy in the picture. This is a soggy ass, thin, despicable excuse for a burger and I wish I could pull a sawed-off shotgun on the cashier and calmly say, "Excuse me Sir, but this isn't what I ordered."

Today is that day when if they can't get my burger right I swear I'm gonna shoot up the place.

Today, I had to find money that I didn't have to help pay for something that I can't afford. And that's not the annoying part. The prize is that it still wasn't enough to fix the problem so not only did it plant a small bomb in my pocket but it served as reminder the size of one of those flying advertisement banners that reads, "You're broke...... And you're an asshole. ..... Asshole." Then when I decide to drive to work, I roll through the e-z pass lane only to stop when barrier doesn't lift itself to let me pass. There goes the e-z part.And there goes that damn flying advertisement again. Off to work. Nothing better than walking into a place that generally pisses you off than walking in pissed off already. Oddly enough though, I wasn't pissed. Yet. I had the great fortune of receiving a Dunkin Donuts coffee cup with a small hole in it. Apparently the cup knew that my shirt was feeling somewhat parched and decided to offer it a taste of toasted almond coffee. Great.

So currently I'm expending the majority of my energy restraining myself from cracking a stranger in the face. I think it's only fair that they feel what I feel. These are the days that I imagine myself having a Samurai sword that's magically connected to my spirit so it belongs to only me. Then I slip through Manhattan stealth-like. I'm a ninja and it will be my honor to take home several heads with me as sacrifice to the gods.

But I'm getting off topic. Clearly the e-z pass is no longer easy. It's the line to be embarrassed because everyone who's impatiently waiting behind now knows that you have an issue with your bill. Maybe I should have taken the train today. Wait, I just looked at the newspaper. Fare hike. Again. The MTA official call it a doomsday plan. Another called it "horrific." Where's my sword? Scratch that. Where's that shotgun. To hell with it, I'm carrying both.

Is this venting or plotting? Am I crazy or frustrated? Blood-thirsty or fed up? So the sun is going to come out tomorrow. But what good is that if it shines on the same pile of shit and makes it stink worse? This is an attempt to turn the pen into a broom. No, maybe the pen can be the gun or the Samurai sword. I'll use the words to cloak in darkness while Life pays for its indiscretions. No, no, the pen will be the broom so that I can sweep up the pile and tomorrow the sun will shine on me.

If not, the gun is still loaded.

C