Sigh....

Why do people never say what they mean?? Why do people think that some how magically you will understand exactly what they want to convey to you as if there were some process of removing a thought from one person's head and planting it in another's without a single word exchanged.
How does that make sense?
Why do people need to read between the lines? How about just writing in the fucking margins?? Why does it need to be more work for everyone?
The only thing worse than being passive aggressive is following your passive aggressiveness with being dismissive. It's like slapping someone and running once you realized the person might slap you back. It's cowardly.

OK, now that that rant is over.. onto another.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who is an African-American female. She just discovered (she didn't notice before) that she is being courted by a Caucasian male. She was having some internal struggle with this potential interracial relationship. Fine. But then she went on to say that many of her black girlfriends are dating or married to white men. She said that it infuriates her to see black men with white women but that it's understandable for black women to date white men. Her reason:

There simply aren't enough good black men.

Huh? What?

First of all, why do people always need an excuse to do what they do. Let me start by saying this. I thought that I was a person that didn't condone interracial dating/marriage. But at the end of the day, what someone does is their personal choice and their own decision has nothing at all to do with me. People are people. (although all sorts of racism and prejudice still exists, that is another conversation). You can present all the figures about the number of black males in prison or not in college and that's fine. Those numbers are staggering. But then that brings me to the question, how many is "enough" and what defines a "good" black man.
Women talk about good men as though they are some kind of endangered species. Why is it that I know so many good black men if they are so hard to find. And people say I'm anti-social. I know a ton of men that have graduated college, who are not in jail. I know men that haven't graduated college that legitimately make more money than I do. I know men that take care of their children and their wives and men that haven't run out on their children because the relationship with the mother didn't work out.

The idea she poised is that the reasons that black men date white women are more deep-rooted than black women dating white men, which could only mean that black men are of the mind that dating a white woman is something to aspire to. That dating a white woman is an achievement. I'll acknowledge that we all are curious about other races because our history as people shows that we tend to stick to our own, whether it be in social circles or relationships. But to make the notion that black men are somehow further inclined than black women to date outside of their race is a reckless statement.

The recklessness has little to do with interracial relationships. It's the idea that women have evolved so much more than men socially in the past 500 years that someone can believe that black men still look at white women or white people for that matter as superior while our women want to "try something new" simply because our women have decided that there aren't "enough" of us that are "good." Which can only make the implication to me that "something new" is then inherently better. Even if we excuse the implication, trying something new based on race as the criteria is a slippery slope and a path that our people would be served better to avoid.
A man is a man just as a woman is a woman. It's foolish to believe that a man will treat you better and worse based on his race. But if the physical features of a particular race excite you then, by all means, enjoy. Or if you happen to meet someone who intrigues and excites you in "that way"' then I'm no one to say that race matters. It will certainly play a role in your relationship but that decision is yours. Not mine or anyone else's.

But please... let's stop degrading our men. Lets stop teaching women that men are animals. That they will all wrong you, hurt you and leave you dry. PEOPLE are guilty of this. Not just men. Many men can speak to the same atrocities imposed on them by women (in terms of relationships) as women charge against men. We can talk about being cheated on, lied to, hurt, taken advantage of. Some can talk about being abused and robbed of their self-esteem.

But the double-standards, and the mass acceptance of them has to stop. Please.

Randomness will come soon for fear that this entry is too long and it will be placed above this blog. But in the meantime, my boy got a preview to this blog and he felt so strongly that he requested another guest spot.

The floor is his:

After reading C's blog, I decided that It was definitly time for my 2nd guest appearence. I know I've been away for a while but frankly Im not the writing type, and even if I was I am no friend to time. So ill start this one off on the usual note:

Are you fucking kidding me? This is the kinda bs that really pisses me off. Why have black men or men in general become the reason for the season? Its cold as hell at outside....... men, I lose my cell phone cuz i was drunk as balls in the party......... men, my period came early this month........... men, SMH. I mean although I have a very strong back there is but only so much I can bare.

So for all of you ladies who have sat down and decided that you agree with the notions of the lady in the above story, let me pick your brain. My biggest issue is the notion that there arent enough "good black men". Maybe if you stopped looking for dudes on the corner and club, and started looking for brothers in the library and in church you will find a good black man. I have heard many females say there arent any good black men out there, but yet if you check thier roster of boyfriends its heavy drug dealer action. Was he good when he was selling drugs just cause you was laced in gucci? Give me a break. You complain that there isnt enough good men, but it is a well known fact that most women want the "bad boy", and thats why nice guys finish last. Sounds pretty contradictory to me, think on it.

To the notion that it is more acceptable for a black women to date outside her race then for a black male to date outside his race i say, UIDIOT. Clearly your still dating the drug dealer because you must be on some shit to say something like that. Lets think about this logically so lets just say supposedly a black male is dating this white women for the purposes of something they aspired to, don't you think that white male that your dating has also aspired to fuck a black chick???? Again I say, UIDIOT. Probably never looked at it from that angle because your so busy thinking this white guy can't play you because hes not black a.k.a the reason for the season.

The solution is simple, No one on this earth is perfect. There are great men and women of all races just as there are losers. But the relationship choices we make in life are our own business as well as the consequences dont fall on some scapegoat. I am not to blame for you dating the abusive drug dealer, YOU are to blame. In short....... Live and let Live!!!!!!!

P.S. If men are the ones that are evil, why is Maury Povich getting paid heavy guap because of idiot women who have slept with their whole neighborhood and don't know who is the father of thier child/children. Things that make you go hmmmmmmm!!!!!!